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What the Bible has to say...

I think this is one of the funnier craigslist posts I have seen in awhile. I will just go ahead and copy it here since it will probably be flagged and taken down from the site. Enjoy!

Its settled, what the bible states about sex...

Reply to:
Date: 2006-02-01, 7:13PM PST

The bible states the following:

"Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled."

What this means is that a married man and woman can do anything they want. If she wants to tickle his prostate, that THEIR business. If she loves him giving her anal, thats THEIR business. Whatever they both love and want to do to each other in bed, thats THEIR business and it IS blessed by the Lord Jesus.

However, the verse goes on to say the following: "but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."

Anyone else having sex of any kind outside of marraige, it is cursed and you are judged by the living Lord Jesus Christ. Do you love anal? Do you love oral? Do you love sex ? GET MARRIED !! It will be blessed by our Creator Jesus. If not, please try not to read this, do the wrong thing, and on judgment day tell God ya didn't know.

Now ya know.

You now have no excuse and need to repent and stop all your immorality and get right with Jesus...start by getting married so that you do not burn with lust and have no choice but to fuck without restraint. There is nothing wrong with kinky sex my friend, I know from experience being married, just stop believing the lies that church-goers are prudes. Statistically we have better sex than any of you sluts and homos, no matter what you may think.

Ironic isn't it? I offer you horny people some friendly religious advice on how to get better sex over the rest of your life, and you will tell me to fuck off. I will have blessed fanfreakinTASTIC sex the rest of my life, die and go to heaven, and you guys will reject Jesus, think with your penis, and rot fuckless forever in Hell.

See ya on Judgment Day.